THE MOST POPULAR BLOG TOPIC - VIRTUAL AFFAIR

I have blogged more than one year and during that time I wrote about many different issues. Since I am a lawyer my posts are based on cases I receive or heard about. One of the most read topics is 

VIRTUAL AFFAIR - IS IT JUST A FLIRT OR SOMETHING MORE?

I cannot lie that I asked myself why people read it more than, for example posts about friendship or superstitious. During my research I found that every second person knows somebody who had virtual affair and every fourth person actually had a virtual affair. My target group were men and adult females between 18 and 50 years old in a relationship or married. 

While I was researching, I thought why this occurred?
The Internet and social networks gave many chances, but also made disaffect people from each other. 

I agree that is seems easier to find your soul mate over a social network, you make a few clicks, check profile, text a little and love can start, but is it really that easy? 

As I wrote in my blog, social networks gave us an opportunity to show ourselves just as we like to be and not as we really are.

For instance, how many people among your social network's friends are photographers, as I know every third, but are they really photographers? Well, they bought a camera, but that does not make them photographers. 
Same is with relationship status, many of our social network's friends are married in real life, but they express that they are single or simply hide that. 

A few months earlier, before I wrote about virtual affair, thanks to my colleague (if I can say thanks, yes, she had virtual affair) I had chance to text with a man who made a fake profile for seducing women. I was surprised that he accepted to text with me about the reasons why he created a fake profile and  experienced many of his virtual affairs. 
He was in his middle 30, relative successful, married with kid and pregnant wife. He made his fake profile in his early twenties only for one purpose - seduction women. His photos were real, everything else was fake: name, country, age, status, education. 
On my question why he did all that he explained to me that he felt again as a man, seducer, he had power over those women and was no harm for his family. His wife never caught him in those affairs, all messaging, chatting was during his work. 

I asked him how would he feel if his wife do that the same with some man and he explained that he will divorce. 
"Cheating is cheating, no matter is it real or virtual" he said. 
Even  I had despised him in this I had to agree.

Long after I text with him I thought about those women who were his target, they were young and old, married and single, BUT they all needed attention, they totally needed to be loved.
Yes Internet gave us a chance to visit Peru but also change our perception of love and romance. When I watch old movies I see men who give flowers and candies to the woman they love, write letters and sing poems under her windows. 

Do I know a woman, which husband or boyfriend did or do that? Unfortunately, the answer is no. 

Emoticons, messages, songs from YouTube can not replace real courtship, but people believe that is the same. 
Virtual affairs exist, and I think it will be more. 
Can we stop them? No. Can we accept them? Well, I do not know for you but for me affair is affair and I can never accept that. 

At this moment while I write this post somebody read about virtual affair, searching for excuses, thinking "mine affair is different, he/she really love me" in this moment, men from my text is speaking with some women telling her that she is the most beautiful women he ever saw, in this moment some woman will believe him. 

Are they happy? 
They think they are, but deep at heart they are just searching for real love...

This text is authorized by Marijana Ignjatovic, and any copying is not permitted

SINGLE MEN IN SERBIA - CAN THIS ENDEMIC SPECIES SURVIVE :D ?

In Serbia, for many people an exotic country where everybody is talking about the great courage of Serbian men and where women make more population, men start to be an uncommon species, safely grouped into four groups, firmly determined not to yield to the demands of their families about marriage. 
Well at least they try :)

Group number 1.   (She became pregnant)

In this group the representative sample gets married simply because his girlfriend became accidentally pregnant. 
Like any gentleman he will get married or her male members of the family will smooth convinced him to make his decision. That discussion is usually easy and very constructive, male family members will remind him that life is short, sometimes dangerous, you never know what tomorrow will bring to you, so be smart man and get marry. 
That kind of wedding is fast and marriage last almost as wedding. After a few months, or in the best way one or two years of cheating on each other, they will get divorced.

Group number 2.   (I need foreign wife)

Second type of man is brave and opened one for new experiences - at the end it is a new age. 
He decided not to choose any woman from Serbian, he will be more imaginative, all these women in the world waiting for this exotic, rough Balkan man. He decide to go to the agency and try to find a woman from another country. They must be better right, at least she will not understand him at all so he can talk and talk as he wants and he will get a smile after. It's every man's dream! After a few days, the agency will call him and send him photographs of few women. He will choose one of them and next is to see and marry her next day after first viewing. 
They didn't even look at each other decently, so what? There is no time for slow thinking if he doesn't want her somebody else will. The whole life is in front of them, they can watch each other next few decades.

Group number 3   (I want them all)

The representative of the third group is very specific. He wants Serbian girls, but he still didn't decide which one so he realized that would be safe to go on dates with as many different girls as he can. Blonde, brunette, red, slim, fat, old, young, he is not picky he just must realize which he desires. At the end marriage is saint stuff. After a while he will throw one, then the other, until only one stays and we got a winner ... or not. 
Hm, maybe he needs to try with few more? :)

There is another kind of man, an endangered species with extinction, the greatest problem for his family, the man who decided to be very careful, not be tricked with baby, not be rushing to marry someone he never saw before, not to be down-home and sleep with any woman he saw, the man who will not make mistakes like the other three groups of man, the man who will fight for his rights until the end.

Group 4   (My mom is seeking my future wife)

Since staying single man, beside driving a small car  is the greatest mistake in one man's life, the family will begin to search for the woman for him. When I say a family, then I think about a female's members of them, they will be sent on a mission to discover a proper woman for this misguided man.

In a country, where cinema, theatre, museum barely exists in a few cities,  the main place for gathering people is a “slava”.

"Slava" is something that only Serbian people have, simply each family chooses one saint to be family protector and then they celebrated that saint. The point is to gather as many people as they can and to celebrate as many days as they can, even if that means that the next few months they will live in totally poorness.
In these few days of a celebration, woman of the house will be notified to get together single men and women. A single man will be taught if he does not know by far that he must eat and drinks a lot, he will show his future wife that he is a truly rough Balkan man, who will put his hand on the table if he is not satisfied with her behavior. Being polite is not so interesting, if he wants to drink juice and eat vegetables he can stay at home, read books and play with his pet.

In the case that in "slava" nothing happened, one more event is also very popular at Serbian people.This event is so popular that people go even if they don’t know who is  the master of ceremonies.  It is a funeral, yes you read it well. 

At funerals you can hear lately gossips, mothers and grandparents can complain on their children and grandchildren and this is a very good place to decide to connect their single kids.Oh, what a joy, ha?

The plan must be very clever, after the funeral mom can’t just come home and say," oh, I found you a wife", no, there is a strategy. She will come at home clearly shaken and when the son comes to ask her is she OK, she will say something like this" my spirit will stop too, soon, very soon, I only wish to see my grandchildren". After son says, "I want too mama", while she wipes, non-existent tears she will give him a piece of paper with the mobile number of his future wife. 
He must call her immediately, of course she will probably ask him how he found her phone number, but that is his problem. If he wants to please his mom, he will go out with her and be a real gentleman, but if he still wants to stay alone after few date he can tell his mom that his future wife called him "a wussy".

Some of these endemic species sometimes suddenly decide that is enough of being single man, it is over. Maybe his girlfriend is not smart, maybe she is not pretty, but who cares, family is family and he needs one. 
There is just one tiny problem, if our future husband doesn't work and still live with his parents, which is starting to be usual in this country, where he will live with his wife? 
In parents' house? Ahem, yes.
After a few months it is mom or wife, bye, bye wife, mom wins. 

Get ready mom you need a new daughter- in- law! 

;)

AFTER A BREAK UP

Every love has its end, some ends hurt us more, some less.

We spend too much time waiting for love, hoping that suddenly one day love will find us, special love that we were always waiting for?

After it arrives we are like butterflies. 

We recall our love is the best love ever. We are the luckiest person in the world, having perfected love, perfect partner and nothing will change it, never.

Is it really perfecting love, and will it last forever?

Suddenly, or we think suddenly something has changed. 

There is no more excitement, no more romance, then panic starts, is it the end of our perfect love  and  what we can do to try to make it better. We are afraid of being alone again,  feel our life depends upon that one person. We are trying to impress our love one thinking "If I do this, he/she will love me again". 

Why we act, if somebody didn't like whom we are, there is no need to try anymore, no point to do things that show us how little we value ourself.

Please don't leave me.

You can't force someone to be with you, if that person wants to go, let go, give her a space, if your ex love you she/he will come back, but chasing, running after doing things just to impress will not make she/he stays forever, in the best case your ex will stay a little bit longer.

After a break up, for a while everyone idealizes his former relationship. In one moment start sadness, in another hate  upon ex love. 

That the relationship was perfect it wouldn't be ended. It was not perfect and if people are sufficiently objective to examine it and lived it in their mind again, they would find out that there are many things that have shown that this relationship will end sooner or later.

"Break ups are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it."

After a break up, left one usually begin to degrade themselves, they think that they are ugly, stupid, or something even worse. 

There is no an ugly woman or men, there are only ugly people inside. 

Everyone on this earth is unique and we all have different talents. 

There is no perfect body, face, there are just people.

We all do that comparing with the others, we must stop doing that and get to know ourselves better,  see what we wish to do. We don't know other people's life, some people don't complain, the happiest people don't have everything, they just make the best from that they receive.

We can never think that we're living our life for nothing. 

Our life doesn't depend on somebody. We lived without that person before we met that person, we are not going to die after breaking up.

"Be strong enough to let go, and patient enough to wait what you deserve." 

Rushing, involving in some quick relationships just to forgetting ex is not the best decision. 

You will not forget her/him, opposite, during your new relationship you will compare new love with the old one. This relationship will end badly too, just because of you, but now you will offend somebody, innocent person involved in love with you.

Does not hurt someone because you were hurt, don't be so selfish.

I hate her/him.

I had never understood a woman or a man who speaks badly about a new boyfriend or girlfriend of their ex. 
Your exes were chosen them, move on, have your life. Spending time hating somebody you don't even know will not make you happy, it will make you more miserable, more angrier and you again waste your time. Your ex has chosen that person, respect his/her choices. If he/she was wrong and this new person in your ex partner love life is bad as you think she is, your ex will leave him/her, maybe even come backs to you, but talking badly will make you just bad and depressed. 

In case your ex was cheating you, then be glad that is over, you don't need a person who didn't respect you.

I also can't understand talking badly about an ex, if that person didn't abuse you, cheat on you, don't talk badly just because she/he decided to continue life with somebody else and not with you. You spent some time with your ex, nobody forced you to be with that person, you chose your ex for your love partner, so  talking badly about your ex you talk badly about yourself too.

"You can't start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one."

Every individual deserves a fresh start!

There are a lot of people outside whom had bad moments in their life, even years, but they didn't give up, didn't say poor me. 
Closing ourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of the future, will not give us something good, just tears and self compassion, we have to accept our feelings, but work to put them behind us too. 
We all learned something from our past, we had learned something from our ex too, now we know what not to do in the next relationship. Instead of, lying on the bed, those who has been left should get up and laugh, sing, play, has to be a little bit crazy. 
It does not matter what others think, we don't live life for them, we have only one life and we live life for ourself. The truth is that people that judged us they feel the same way and they want to express themselves, but they are afraid to express it.

"Every story has an ending, but in life every end is a new beginning"

A break up is not the end of the world, people come and go into our life, it is a normal thing. 

Our life is a film in which we are the main actors, we generally choose what kind of movie our life would be. 

There will be another relationship, the other great love and other bad ends.

It's just a way of life. We all do it and we’re all still here, aren’t we?

t in life every end is a new beginning."

 It is time to move on ...

 ;)

This text is written by Marijana Ignjatović any copyrighting are not permitted