THE MOST POPULAR BLOG TOPIC - VIRTUAL AFFAIR

I have blogged more than one year and during that time I wrote about many different issues. Since I am a lawyer my posts are based on cases I receive or heard about. One of the most read topics is 

VIRTUAL AFFAIR - IS IT JUST A FLIRT OR SOMETHING MORE?

I cannot lie that I asked myself why people read it more than, for example posts about friendship or superstitious. During my research I found that every second person knows somebody who had virtual affair and every fourth person actually had a virtual affair. My target group were men and adult females between 18 and 50 years old in a relationship or married. 

While I was researching, I thought why this occurred?
The Internet and social networks gave many chances, but also made disaffect people from each other. 

I agree that is seems easier to find your soul mate over a social network, you make a few clicks, check profile, text a little and love can start, but is it really that easy? 

As I wrote in my blog, social networks gave us an opportunity to show ourselves just as we like to be and not as we really are.

For instance, how many people among your social network's friends are photographers, as I know every third, but are they really photographers? Well, they bought a camera, but that does not make them photographers. 
Same is with relationship status, many of our social network's friends are married in real life, but they express that they are single or simply hide that. 

A few months earlier, before I wrote about virtual affair, thanks to my colleague (if I can say thanks, yes, she had virtual affair) I had chance to text with a man who made a fake profile for seducing women. I was surprised that he accepted to text with me about the reasons why he created a fake profile and  experienced many of his virtual affairs. 
He was in his middle 30, relative successful, married with kid and pregnant wife. He made his fake profile in his early twenties only for one purpose - seduction women. His photos were real, everything else was fake: name, country, age, status, education. 
On my question why he did all that he explained to me that he felt again as a man, seducer, he had power over those women and was no harm for his family. His wife never caught him in those affairs, all messaging, chatting was during his work. 

I asked him how would he feel if his wife do that the same with some man and he explained that he will divorce. 
"Cheating is cheating, no matter is it real or virtual" he said. 
Even  I had despised him in this I had to agree.

Long after I text with him I thought about those women who were his target, they were young and old, married and single, BUT they all needed attention, they totally needed to be loved.
Yes Internet gave us a chance to visit Peru but also change our perception of love and romance. When I watch old movies I see men who give flowers and candies to the woman they love, write letters and sing poems under her windows. 

Do I know a woman, which husband or boyfriend did or do that? Unfortunately, the answer is no. 

Emoticons, messages, songs from YouTube can not replace real courtship, but people believe that is the same. 
Virtual affairs exist, and I think it will be more. 
Can we stop them? No. Can we accept them? Well, I do not know for you but for me affair is affair and I can never accept that. 

At this moment while I write this post somebody read about virtual affair, searching for excuses, thinking "mine affair is different, he/she really love me" in this moment, men from my text is speaking with some women telling her that she is the most beautiful women he ever saw, in this moment some woman will believe him. 

Are they happy? 
They think they are, but deep at heart they are just searching for real love...

This text is authorized by Marijana Ignjatovic, and any copying is not permitted

VIRTUAL AFFAIR - IS IT JUST A FLIRT OR SOMETHING MORE?

online- dating

"I love you, don't you get it?

Everything was a lie, you don’t love me.

Let me explain you, I don't love her, she is just a nanny for our children ...

How could you lie to me, how could you cheat your wife?!

I don't have hopes for us anymore, sorry ..."

Mostly about virtual relationship's ends as this. Virtual lovers breaks up when someone figures out who is a virtual lover in real life, usually married women and men, unsatisfied with their private life using profiles on social networks to live their life again, to change him in their minds.

They  begin to confuse real and virtual life fall in love for real, convince themselves that virtual life is better, get more attention. It is exciting, can discuss with everything, will not put bond as in real life, as with real life partner.

After the end of virtual affairs, virtual lovers can't harmonize with themselves that is over that they are in real life again, perfect love is no more in front of the screen.

They actually suffer, convince themselves that they are victims in this relationship, try to find another love, better with more understanding, and circle never ends.

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Virtual affair is fantasy, usually story that ends with bad end for at least one main character in this story, and do not forget that this story have at least three or even four main characters.

After one virtual affair starts, then as time goes by it is hard to finish it. Perfect lover with romantic love, picture of roses on the bed, love poem in the messages , smile on the screen ... But that is just imagination far away from the real thing.

Someone will say now, virtual affair is not affair it is fun, flirt, no damage for marriage, nothing special, let us see now ... If somebody has a family, life partner, kids maybe, and that person spent hours talking with somebody else instead with real partner, touching the screen, get naked and having sex during the time the other side on the screen doing the same thing, is it flirt or affair?

Yes sorry, it is affair by itself.

If somebody spends almost every day talking, seeing, touching over the screen somebody, having jealous moments when other side talk with somebody else and not thinking during that time at all about the family, it is an affair.

That affair is even worse than real, it can last longer, there is curious how it would like in real, virtual lover is more interesting, perfect, the sex is even better as you just can imagine.

The virtual affair becomes more fun, more exacting, once it starts for those who emotionally cheating, it is going to be as an addiction, more and more hours talking, doing things that they can't say or do with their husband/wife.

Once when virtual lovers emotionally cheat he/she will feel the need to meet that person one day in real, and make it real.

Those who think that is nothing wrong should sit and think, put yourself in a place, not a place of a virtual lover put yourself in a place of husband/wife of that person, is it OK  now, how do you feel?

Virtual affair can damage marriage as much  the real one can.

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For real life partners of virtual cheaters knowing that their husband/wife was spending hours, days, even months talking, laughing, having sex, sending naked pictures to any other man/woman can be tremendous.

For them there are no difference between virtual and real cheating, in their mind their love didn't think of them, somebody else was or is more important, they are not good enough anymore, they are on the second place now.

One more side gets here hurt, the side that didn't fake that was clean, didn't lie, didn't cheat, the side that expects all of that from the other side too, side that never dreamed her lover was a fake.

How much they get hurt after they realize that their perfect partner is a fake, have family that all was a lie, and how that result in their future love life?

At least end of this kind of love affairs should be edifying for every side, virtual cheaters who should ask themselves why they are not happy with real partners, their partners in real life should begin to work on relationship before it ends with divorce, and finally for the other side over the screen that should be more careful next time if she/he wants to try love over the Internet again.


"Go, leave me here with my life, you never loved me.

You are right, I don't think I ever really loved you. I think I was in love with an idea of you ... "

;)