AFTER A BREAK UP

Every love has its end, some ends hurt us more, some less.

We spend too much time waiting for love, hoping that suddenly one day love will find us, special love that we were always waiting for?

After it arrives we are like butterflies. 

We recall our love is the best love ever. We are the luckiest person in the world, having perfected love, perfect partner and nothing will change it, never.

Is it really perfecting love, and will it last forever?

Suddenly, or we think suddenly something has changed. 

There is no more excitement, no more romance, then panic starts, is it the end of our perfect love  and  what we can do to try to make it better. We are afraid of being alone again,  feel our life depends upon that one person. We are trying to impress our love one thinking "If I do this, he/she will love me again". 

Why we act, if somebody didn't like whom we are, there is no need to try anymore, no point to do things that show us how little we value ourself.

Please don't leave me.

You can't force someone to be with you, if that person wants to go, let go, give her a space, if your ex love you she/he will come back, but chasing, running after doing things just to impress will not make she/he stays forever, in the best case your ex will stay a little bit longer.

After a break up, for a while everyone idealizes his former relationship. In one moment start sadness, in another hate  upon ex love. 

That the relationship was perfect it wouldn't be ended. It was not perfect and if people are sufficiently objective to examine it and lived it in their mind again, they would find out that there are many things that have shown that this relationship will end sooner or later.

"Break ups are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it."

After a break up, left one usually begin to degrade themselves, they think that they are ugly, stupid, or something even worse. 

There is no an ugly woman or men, there are only ugly people inside. 

Everyone on this earth is unique and we all have different talents. 

There is no perfect body, face, there are just people.

We all do that comparing with the others, we must stop doing that and get to know ourselves better,  see what we wish to do. We don't know other people's life, some people don't complain, the happiest people don't have everything, they just make the best from that they receive.

We can never think that we're living our life for nothing. 

Our life doesn't depend on somebody. We lived without that person before we met that person, we are not going to die after breaking up.

"Be strong enough to let go, and patient enough to wait what you deserve." 

Rushing, involving in some quick relationships just to forgetting ex is not the best decision. 

You will not forget her/him, opposite, during your new relationship you will compare new love with the old one. This relationship will end badly too, just because of you, but now you will offend somebody, innocent person involved in love with you.

Does not hurt someone because you were hurt, don't be so selfish.

I hate her/him.

I had never understood a woman or a man who speaks badly about a new boyfriend or girlfriend of their ex. 
Your exes were chosen them, move on, have your life. Spending time hating somebody you don't even know will not make you happy, it will make you more miserable, more angrier and you again waste your time. Your ex has chosen that person, respect his/her choices. If he/she was wrong and this new person in your ex partner love life is bad as you think she is, your ex will leave him/her, maybe even come backs to you, but talking badly will make you just bad and depressed. 

In case your ex was cheating you, then be glad that is over, you don't need a person who didn't respect you.

I also can't understand talking badly about an ex, if that person didn't abuse you, cheat on you, don't talk badly just because she/he decided to continue life with somebody else and not with you. You spent some time with your ex, nobody forced you to be with that person, you chose your ex for your love partner, so  talking badly about your ex you talk badly about yourself too.

"You can't start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one."

Every individual deserves a fresh start!

There are a lot of people outside whom had bad moments in their life, even years, but they didn't give up, didn't say poor me. 
Closing ourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of the future, will not give us something good, just tears and self compassion, we have to accept our feelings, but work to put them behind us too. 
We all learned something from our past, we had learned something from our ex too, now we know what not to do in the next relationship. Instead of, lying on the bed, those who has been left should get up and laugh, sing, play, has to be a little bit crazy. 
It does not matter what others think, we don't live life for them, we have only one life and we live life for ourself. The truth is that people that judged us they feel the same way and they want to express themselves, but they are afraid to express it.

"Every story has an ending, but in life every end is a new beginning"

A break up is not the end of the world, people come and go into our life, it is a normal thing. 

Our life is a film in which we are the main actors, we generally choose what kind of movie our life would be. 

There will be another relationship, the other great love and other bad ends.

It's just a way of life. We all do it and we’re all still here, aren’t we?

t in life every end is a new beginning."

 It is time to move on ...

 ;)

This text is written by Marijana Ignjatović any copyrighting are not permitted

VIRTUAL AFFAIR - IS IT JUST A FLIRT OR SOMETHING MORE?

online- dating

"I love you, don't you get it?

Everything was a lie, you don’t love me.

Let me explain you, I don't love her, she is just a nanny for our children ...

How could you lie to me, how could you cheat your wife?!

I don't have hopes for us anymore, sorry ..."

Mostly about virtual relationship's ends as this. Virtual lovers breaks up when someone figures out who is a virtual lover in real life, usually married women and men, unsatisfied with their private life using profiles on social networks to live their life again, to change him in their minds.

They  begin to confuse real and virtual life fall in love for real, convince themselves that virtual life is better, get more attention. It is exciting, can discuss with everything, will not put bond as in real life, as with real life partner.

After the end of virtual affairs, virtual lovers can't harmonize with themselves that is over that they are in real life again, perfect love is no more in front of the screen.

They actually suffer, convince themselves that they are victims in this relationship, try to find another love, better with more understanding, and circle never ends.

aa-woman-laptop-bed3

Virtual affair is fantasy, usually story that ends with bad end for at least one main character in this story, and do not forget that this story have at least three or even four main characters.

After one virtual affair starts, then as time goes by it is hard to finish it. Perfect lover with romantic love, picture of roses on the bed, love poem in the messages , smile on the screen ... But that is just imagination far away from the real thing.

Someone will say now, virtual affair is not affair it is fun, flirt, no damage for marriage, nothing special, let us see now ... If somebody has a family, life partner, kids maybe, and that person spent hours talking with somebody else instead with real partner, touching the screen, get naked and having sex during the time the other side on the screen doing the same thing, is it flirt or affair?

Yes sorry, it is affair by itself.

If somebody spends almost every day talking, seeing, touching over the screen somebody, having jealous moments when other side talk with somebody else and not thinking during that time at all about the family, it is an affair.

That affair is even worse than real, it can last longer, there is curious how it would like in real, virtual lover is more interesting, perfect, the sex is even better as you just can imagine.

The virtual affair becomes more fun, more exacting, once it starts for those who emotionally cheating, it is going to be as an addiction, more and more hours talking, doing things that they can't say or do with their husband/wife.

Once when virtual lovers emotionally cheat he/she will feel the need to meet that person one day in real, and make it real.

Those who think that is nothing wrong should sit and think, put yourself in a place, not a place of a virtual lover put yourself in a place of husband/wife of that person, is it OK  now, how do you feel?

Virtual affair can damage marriage as much  the real one can.

alg-computer- breakeup- jpg

For real life partners of virtual cheaters knowing that their husband/wife was spending hours, days, even months talking, laughing, having sex, sending naked pictures to any other man/woman can be tremendous.

For them there are no difference between virtual and real cheating, in their mind their love didn't think of them, somebody else was or is more important, they are not good enough anymore, they are on the second place now.

One more side gets here hurt, the side that didn't fake that was clean, didn't lie, didn't cheat, the side that expects all of that from the other side too, side that never dreamed her lover was a fake.

How much they get hurt after they realize that their perfect partner is a fake, have family that all was a lie, and how that result in their future love life?

At least end of this kind of love affairs should be edifying for every side, virtual cheaters who should ask themselves why they are not happy with real partners, their partners in real life should begin to work on relationship before it ends with divorce, and finally for the other side over the screen that should be more careful next time if she/he wants to try love over the Internet again.


"Go, leave me here with my life, you never loved me.

You are right, I don't think I ever really loved you. I think I was in love with an idea of you ... "

;)

VIRTUAL LOVE-BABY DO YOU LOVE ME?

                                               

 "It is not a Cupid arrow, it is a cursor ... I felt in love over the Internet ... "

internet-couple.SoloAt30

 Modern life has changed us, people are not social as they were before, we spend less time with our relatives, family, friends, we rather choose to spend the evening on the Internet than in some pub.        

When we have virtual life, virtual friends, send virtual gifts, play virtual games, logical effect is that soon we will have virtual love too.

Internet relationship starts to be growing phenomenon, people fall in love with people which they have never seen before, spend hours talking together, kissing screens, making plans for the future.

It is not strange anymore when we hear or see that someone has a relationship over the Internet. 

Since the expansion of social networks and web date sites started, more and more people looking for a partner online. People are lonelier than before, so Internet gives us opportunity to find a perfect partner, with interest and plans for life similar or exactly the same as ours.

But did we find a real person or somebody who just like to hang around?!

tumblr-com-internet-love- now-virtual-love-favim-com1013621

First it starts with likes, short comments, then with talks, suddenly we realize that we spend more and more hours together, thinking on our virtual partner when we are not in front of the screen ...

Is that really love? A relationship like we wanted? What happened when we finally decide to take the next step?

We all know what next step means-seeing each other, we can’t spend an entire life just talking and imaging HOW OUR VIRTUAL LOVE IN REAL WILL LOOKS LIKE.

Then sad, but true, most of that perfect romantic relationship ends.

Sorry babe, I really loved you until the day I met you...

Why is that, what happened that our perfect love ended like it never existed? 

Like in real life people pretend to act as perfect love partners, but Internet gives the opportunity that fake person stays fake longer, to have more life, more fake faces, and I don't talk about physical appearance, that is some other story I talk about characteristics of fake personality ...

Psychologists say that crash lasts 3 or maximum 4 months after that is love. That can be true in a real relationship, in virtual that is a short time, we see only what the other side wants us to see, we don't see our virtual love in unprepared moments, and even every sentence that he/she writes or says to us is maybe already prepared, we just can’t spend so much quality time together like in real life.

WHAT TO DO THEN??

who-are-you-04

When we fall in love with our virtual part, then all we can do is try to check everything about that person, I trust him/her is not enough, people lie, people pretend, some of them just for fun, some because he/she wants to hide something or in the worst case because they have serious mental problems. Checking our virtual lover before we meet him/her is not something wrong, we check our partners in real life so it is normal that we want to be sure that we found real person.

Love or crush is one thing that keeps us together, but honesty and trust will keep it on. If some of us is dishonest our love will last until we meet each other.

After all that time, if it fails, it is not end of the world, life is not only good, but bad things also, it was good while it lasted.

A relationship can end no matter is it real or virtual, so we move on and maybe next virtual love will be the one we were waiting for.

;)

This text is authorized by Marijana Ignjatović any copyrighting are not permitted

SINGLE LADIES

en.wikipedia.org

"All the single ladies, now put your hands up"...

OK we put our hands up, and when the song ends, then what?

Play it again?

In the new age we try so badly to have great jobs, career, house, car, we are constantly in some rush, but when we turn back we realize that we forgot one important thing - 
TO FIND GREAT LIFE PARTNER TOO!

It is not a secret that in that rush we don't pay attention, who really our partners are, so when we have time to look closely we start to be unsatisfied and after time single again.

"You are not single you are free" said my friend, and I couldn't say to him that is a lie, in my last relationship I felt like I was caught in the cage.

I spent my whole day at the work and that free time I had I was with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't realize that I was not happy enough, I needed someone to hug me after busy and hard day, I needed someone to listen me ... And ... And,   that was all. Everything else is other story.

Wasn't happy but, I was afraid to be alone again, then one day I finally decided, it is over, we both failed in this relationship.

Now I can say it is better to be alone then alone with somebody.

Sometimes giving up from relationship doesn't mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you finally got the courage to move on, to take your life again in your hands.

It is hard to be single, the first couple of days you don't know what to do with yourself, you can do anything you want, but you start to think that with your ex-partner would be more fun, you still make dinner for two, you still think like you are two still together...

Then you realize that you are alone, you start to check email, your messages hoping that you will discover that he still thinks of you ...

Eventually you realize that your life was back to the start where you were before him, but with one small difference-you learn something, you learn from your mistakes.

Life teaches us, each person in our life is a new lesson, our ex-partner is important lesson too.

So if we had learned anything from our ex-partner is that we shouldn't make the same mistakes again.

I read that each of us will choose person similar to ourselves in a life partner, so if we don't find that person does it mean that we are unique :)?

Probably not, I think that means that we didn't look enough, if we have enough strength and will to sacrifice the best of us in our career, we must give the best of us to find our perfect partner too.

And when we find him, well then we can sing:

"Put me into your arms, say I'm the one you want,

  If you don't, you will be alone,

 And like a ghost I'll be gone"

... Or we should hug him and say -THANKS GOD I FINALLY FOUND YOU!

 ;)

SINGLE LADIES - THERE IS SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR YOU OR, YOUR FAMILY WILL FIND HIM :D

"Oh dear, I didn't see you a couple of weeks, how are you, did you marry ?"

"Ahem, no"

"What?!!! 

You are not young Missy, what are you waiting for?"

                            "My bus".

To be a single lady in Serbia is like you have horns in the middle of your head, you are rare species that many of the older women will kill, bring home and put your head on the wall of their living room as a representative for their unmarried daughters.

In Serbia marriage is very important, you can be bad, without education, shame for community, but you must be married untill your 25 birth.

When you came to kindergarten first thing that your relatives will ask you is "do you have a boyfriend?"

Of course I have, just can't decide do I like more that who pee in his pants or that who cries every time his mom left him.

Then in Primary school every of your male friend is suspected. If you two are in your room your granny will suddenly come to clean the dust and your grandpa will sit between you and him to read his newspaper. They must know his intentions with you.

Secondary school. Well we are now on serious terrain, your boyfriend is already called “son in law”.
On family reunion you must say his name, date of birth, where he lives, who are his grandparents, relatives, what his parent do, what car they drive, and of course you must show him to everybody .

You can try with excuses that he is sick, but then when you two break up some of your aunts will tell you" Thx god, we started to worry, he is constantly ill, may not survive his thirtieth."

At the college after how are you, the second question is do you have serious relationship, you are now an adult problem for your family.

At this family reunion that is every time you came home, you get investigated, do you have any relationship, is it serious, if you don't have, why is that, what is wrong with you, are you a lesbian?

Your relatives now have a mission, you will not embarrass them, they will find you a decent husband!

If we are still in stone age they would take cudgels and hit on the head every man they saw , throw him in the room with you, and bring the priest, but since they can't do that they show your photo every time they saw a single man.

Of course since on each of your photos you have mini skirt, or drink in your hand, which is for your relatives very impropriate, photo of you which your relatives show, took your aunt when you didn't look, so or you have tousled hair, or you were looking somewhere like nutcase, or you were happily cleaning your teeth after aunt's dinner.

Suddenly you are invited to every wedding, even for a wedding of relatives you never saw before. You never knew even in your dream how many relatives you have, all so worried about your married career, and what is the most important "lucky" for you each of them know some single man.

At the weddings every bride will be appraised to throw the bouquet to you, for luck of course and that single guys can see that you are single too.

You will sit at the table with them just in the case they didn't see that you had caught the bouquet or if there were more single woman like you.

On every two minutes some of your relatives will hit some of that poor single men on the back with the questions " you like her, ha?"

The photographer will take a photo with each of those guys and give them to their mothers so they can visualize how you two are a beautiful couple.

That is how it looks until you are 25, then ... Well then you wait for your bus ... And ...

And maybe one day in that bus will be your future husband, or your relatives will put him there "YOU LIKE HER, HA?"...

;)

LIKES - WHY WE NEED THEM?

     

In 21th century, when everything is about technology each of us slowly start to become virtual, we make virtual profiles, we have virtual friends, we live virtual life and we slowly in real losing ourselves.

In actual life we are satisfied if we have one really good friend, on social networks, each day we add more friends just because we think that 500 or 600 is not enough, we need more and more, but where is the closing?

Why we need more likes on our photos, more comments on our status, and what we get if our virtual friends do that? 

Is that proof  that we are beautiful, smart, is that proof that we sustain a great life?

The great question that we need to ask ourselves is how we depart to be without confidence? 

Why can't we be happy without their likes?

If they like our photo does it mean that they like us, or possibly they were tiring and they liked everything they experienced that daylight?

This morning my co-worker told me "if 50 people don't like your profile photo, change it? OK, so if 50 people don't like any of my photos, I have to go for plastic surgery and change my face?

How our life stooped to be private, and why we did it to ourselves?

Every day, I can get a line on Facebook how some girl colored her nails, how somebodies kids eat, how their pets sleep. Sometimes I feel like I need to write to those people something which is obviously, it is not like we saw that the first time in our lifetime, it is not world miracle.

What will be the next thing, picture when somebody gets to the bathroom- oh look how I sit on  my throne! Thanks, but I don't need to understand that.

And what is about status, posts where somebody uses the quote of some fame person? People stopped to think, it is easier to like somebodies thoughts, then pronounce your own belief.

If you possess your own thoughts you want to share, share it, simply don't employ someone else thoughts like yours simply to pretend that you are very smart or humorous.

Did we start to be that lazy, even in our sentiments?

How social networks starts to be more important than actual life?

A few months ago I called my friend and she just hung up. After a while she sent me a message on Facebook "my friends from Thailand liked my pics and you didn't, I thought we were friends?" Sure that will make a  sense if people from Thailand even know who is she.

I asked her why I need to like them, I am with her almost every day, but she articulated: "so what, you want to embarrass me that my Facebook friends think we are no longer good friends that you don't like me". She was decent, I am reasonably sure that those people from Thailand still thinking why I didn't like her photos.

Let think like a normal person, why would somebody who never visited us in his full life, even think for a minute about us. When did we begin to behave like some famous person and why?

Andy Warhol said: "In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes."

Does some social network finally give each of us that 15 minutes of celebrity?

Is it time to say that on social network everyone will be famous for at least 15 people?

;)

FAKE FRIENDS - KICK THEM OR NOT ?

Older people say, "Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend who hugs you".

Absolute truth.

 We all were abandoned by our friends so many times, but yet we try to believe that we will have one true friend.

We are social beings, can't live alone, we need family, lover, friends, but how we respond when we suddenly realize that our friends are fake?

Should we make believe that everything is OK, simply because we are so afraid to be alone, or should we say I don't need you in my life any longer!

It is the truth that some of our friends are just with us because they need something from us, or they just feel boring and they know that we always have time for them, but then when we need them they say to us, "oh sorry,  you choose a bad moment"?

Should we say it is OK, every single time, or should we stand for ourselves and tell them what is on our mind?

Or possibly just maybe we should ask them one simple question "why you are my friend if you are never here  when I need you?"

And there is the point where the fear starts to work. Does the truth hurt us, or if our friend makes lies do we feel better or even worse than before we asked?

How to break up with fake friends?

They are fake anyway, so should we just walk away or slowly show them that we are not fool anymore. They are winning anyway, we start to think what to say, if we are rude they will make rumors, they will be victims if we say nice will they accept what we say or they will just say," I really don't know what is your problem today."

The funniest thing is that they know one day they will need us again, so they will probably accept our decision and walk away, but just in the moment when we forget them they will come again in our life trying to be our friend again.

At that moment, just like destiny is playing with us, we need somebody, we had a tough day or something, and we say, oh I forgive you ... noooooooooo, didn't we learn anything???

Can't we just say I don't have time for you!

What is wrong with us, is it The end of the world, didn't we learn we can exist without them.

We must learn to say IT IS OVER, THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP, BUT I DECIDED TO MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU.

If we do not do that we will be stick the rest of our lives with fake friends, writing, talking and reading about them.

Like Joan Jett  in her song says: 

Losin' friends, losin' friends Ya got nothin to lose Ya don't lose when you lose fake friends... 

;)